4-step framework to work without distraction

3 truths about change leadership

LEARNING TO FAIL BETTER: NEW RESEARCH BY HARVARD PROFESSOR AMY EDMONDSON

TED Talks sensation Brené Brown, Ph.D., says it’s important to distinguish perfectionism from healthy striving for excellence.

The author spells out the destructive nature of perfectionism in her bestsellers _The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are_ , and _Dare to Lead_ , an ideal read for those wanting to [be a good leader](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/Definitiveguideleadershipqualities2021).

#### Perfectionism: A Self-Destructive Belief System

1.  Perfectionism is a **self-destructive** and **obsessive** belief system that fuels this primary thought: _If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgement, and shame._

2\. Perfectionism is an **unattainable** goal. It’s more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy is spent trying.

Brené Brown Defines Perfectionism 

3\. Perfectionism is **addictive** , because when we invariably do experience shame, judgement and blame, we often believe it’s because we weren’t perfect enough. Rather than questioning the **faulty logic** of perfectionism, we become even more entrenched in our quest to look and do everything just right, creating a cycle of perfectionistic procrastination.

4\. Perfectionism is maladaptive because it actually sets us up to feel **shame, judgement and blame** , which then leads to more shame, judgement and blame: _It’s my fault. I’m feeling this way because I’m not good enough._ (See also Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David's [tips for stopping destructive self-talk](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/EmotionalagilitySusanDavid))

It’s not striving for excellence. It’s not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is a defensive move.

It’s not the self-protection we think it is. It’s a 20 tonne shield we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and creating perfectionism anxiety.

Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfection is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Early praise for achievement and performance has become a dangerous and debilitating belief system: “I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it, please, perform, perfect, prove.”

Perfectionism is not the key to success. In fact, research shows perfectionism hampers achievement and is correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis, or missed opportunities. The fear of failing, making mistakes, not meeting people’s expectations, and being criticised keeps us outside [the arena](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/IntheArenawithBreneBrownChoosingCourageoverComfort) where healthy competition and striving unfolds.

Lastly, perfectionism is not a way to avoid shame. Perfectionism is a function of shame.

What Perfectionism is NOT

See also [Brené Brown top tip: Assume Others are Doing the Best They Can](http://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/BrenBrowntoptipassumeothersaredoingthebesttheycan) 

Find out the Top 10 Leadership Qualities this year, and see how you measure up. Download our FREE guide: https://thegrowthfaculty.co/leadershipqualities

More than 8000 saw and heard the research findings of author and research professor Dr Brené Brown at [The Growth Faculty's 2019 event](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/IntheArenawithBreneBrownChoosingCourageoverComfort). 

Become a better leader. Join Growth Faculty with a 12 month Growth Faculty Pass and get unlimited access to the world's brightest minds. Your Growth Faculty pass gives you access to 40+ live virtual events, our On Demand library, networking opportunities and more. That's more than $7500 in value for just $498 AUD pp per year. [See upcoming events and learn more.](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/?promoCode=Blog#liveevents)

[#Leadership](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blogs/Leadership)

[#People](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blogs/People)

4 Destructive Traits of Perfectionism from Dr Bren Brown

And, Brené’s list of 5 things perfectionism is NOT

Keep informed
Stay Inspired

4 Destructive Traits of Perfectionism from Dr Bren Brown

And, Brené’s list of 5 things perfectionism is NOT

Keep informedStay Inspired

Keep informed
Stay Inspired